As I sat in your rocking chair holding you close the other day, I thought of the many things I wanted to tell you. We rocked for an hour or so, your little body so relaxed in my arms, I couldn't help but be so grateful for you. I love you my little boy, I don't think I could ever tell you how much. I love being your mamma. You have brought me more joy than I ever thought one little person could! I want you to know that I prayed for you, and I still pray for you. I prayed for you before you were born. I prayed for you to be happy and to be healthy. I prayed that we would one day be able to hold you. You took your time coming to us. You see your daddy and I wanted you to be with us much sooner. We cried together, hoping that one day you would be more than just a dream, we visited doctors trying everything to bring you here. I remember perfectly the day that I found out you were coming to us. I cried happy, thankful tears. I couldn't wait to tell your daddy that you would join us in just 9 months. Your daddy cried too.
Those 9 months didn't go by very quickly. All the growing you needed to do made me sick for a little while, and tired too. But your daddy was there to help me the whole time. The day you were born was one of the happiest days of my life. The doctors put you right in my arms and I couldn't believe you were here with us. It was truly a miracle. I held you close and you snuggled right in. I was so happy to finally meet you. You have grown so much since then. Your little giggles always make me smile, I laugh when you laugh. I love you my little boy. I hope you will always know how loved you are, and how wanted you are. I pray every day for you. I pray for you to be healthy, I pray for you to be happy, and I pray that I might know how to take care of you.
I'm not the best mom, it's still new to me, but I'm learning. I've had lots of help too. Your Nanny and Gramma have been here lots taking care of me and you. Your daddy helps as much as he can, and more than most daddies. He works hard to keep us safe and secure. You are lucky to have such an awesome dad. I think you know that though. He's your buddy. He makes you laugh the most and the hardest. You always have a big smile when you haven't seen him for a while. I know you'll be good friends.
Don't grow too fast little man. I want to enjoy every minute. If I get frustrated with you from time to time, I hope you forgive me. This being a mom thing is hard. Just know that I love you, and I will always love you. You are such a kind little spirit. Already I know how much you care. When other babies cry, you cry too. It's like you know they are hurting and it makes you sad. Always keep that kindness. The world out here isn't always a kind one, but you can help make it a little brighter.
I love you little boy. I'll always be here for you, to take care of you, hug you, laugh with you and snuggle you. You can tell me anything. Your daddy and I love you so very much. You are one of the greatest blessings in our lives.
Be good little man, grow big and strong. Keep that kindness you have now. One day, hopefully, if all goes right, you'll have a baby brother or sister to share your journey with.
Love,
Mommy
That was sweet Emily! Porter is one lucky little boy!!
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